Hebrews 4 ...
For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
I felt the same darkness of this letter from a friend...
".... that God will give us the grace and wisdom to teach our eldest son to become a Godly, independent and responsible individual. I think that God is continually teaching me to be patient, to trust in him and to have unconditional love for my children. I'd like to use tough love but I don't know how and fears the risk/unknown. My two older sons recently went to a party and got into a fight at one College party. We have a serious problem with X... because he loves to party and when he's drunk, he gets out of control. Y.. has a temper but Praise God he's been freed from a very tumultuous relationship but he still struggles about knowing to do the right thing. Because of this incidents, I feel that their behaviours and the company Josh keeps, and the activities he engages in, it puts all of us in harms way. We gave him a car for school but he quit school bec. he wanted to work, but he keeps getting suspended for being tardy or absent as he parties until wee hours and is not fit to get up for work, I'm surprised he's not been fired yet. I've made a decision to kick him out but my husband disagrees so I told him if he doesn't leave, I will leave. I feel our son will get worse if we continue to enable him and support him into becoming a lazy, carefree and irresponsible individual. Pls. pray for me, I'm at a lost at this decision. I know he has nowhere to go but I don't know what else to do with him after countless dialogue and chances to prove himself..."
I too underwent the same experience as it was heartbreaking for me to see my son brought to the hospital after an alcoholic binge with friends, Alcohol is more readily available than drugs and so the prevalence among the young. I understand that my son needed a lot of emotional support and us parents - whether we're ready or not - are usually thrown into it, my husband and I hit the ground running, at the same time mustering enough courage and fortitude in order to offer him the refuge that he needed most. We cannot afford to succumb to our own weaknesses and emotions - that was a huge struggle for me! The days that followed I was so emotional, I went into bouts of screaming "shame on you" then periods of tearful "why are you doing this" into giving him a cold shoulder. Because of the alcohol abuse, my son became quite violent to himself and that gave me so much fear that I ended up not talking to him for awhile. This was one of the painfully dark parts of my life.
Of course there is always help available in the church or community or Internet/online, whatever your choices may be, these are the resources where you can stop by a friendly forum or chat to talk with parents or teens about beating the alcohol blues. I would like to emphasize the role of mothers and significant adult women in the lives of these troubled young men and women.
In the initial conflict, human nature usually hides the shame that most parents feel but we cannot afford to stay too long in this stage and most of the time, have to seek help outside of the family. The deceit of sin , which is rooted in alcoholism, should propel us to look into God's direction and His word. We need to rely on God's word to "pierce through the deceit and division". Self-power alone isn't enough to stop an alcoholic problem, there are specific tools we have to give our son in order to make permanent changes. Ultimately, bad habits can be overcome!
Praise be to God - all is not lost and I share this hope with my friend that God does not ignore the role of being a mother - after all, we are God's ezers***! HE has made women to be the SHARP end of His sword!
(***n Genesis 2:18, God calls woman an ezer kenegdo, a "helper against him." Women as empowered warriors standing side by side with men against all evil)
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